Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Because The Fire of One Thousand Suns Cannot Burn Us

Biking in skinny jeans on a 103 degree summer day? Not a problem for a Hipster my friend, not a problem in the slightest. From the perspective of a mere mortal of Jewish origins, I can understand why an action of this nature might seem uncomfortable, unnecessary, and, even, inexplicable. What I suggest to you is that you attempt to walk a mile in the shoes of greatness before making sweeping generalizations on the actions of the a clearly superior brand of cool. In fact, Hipsters are so (unintentionally) cool, that they literally cannot become hot. We are made of more ethereal stuff than that my friend and we will not succumb to the whims of nature nor the mores of the washed. In short, the fire of one thousand suns cannot burn us. So it is written, so it shall be.

So, while you may have your Jew Jitsu (admittedly awesome), we're more than willing to take our imperviousness to nature, our blatant disregard for heretofore unchallenged societal notions of proper hygiene, our inexplicable and ultimately undefinable brand of cool, and our not unflattering definitional comparison to pornography (silly Potter; Judge, not Harry). 

Thusly, I leave you with a real life Hipster doing real life Hipster things on a real life Hipster farm. I dedicate this realness to you my web footed friend who probably always poses (so phony) for pictures and therefore is never able to actually capture anything resembling the truth. Real life man. Dig it.

Bandana, check. Tie dye shades, check. Croaks, check. White tee, check. Unruly beard, check plus.

Hipster win. Please believe.